....i've decided to come back to this blog once again.....and since i'm in a lot of emotional pain these past days, it only seems logical that i write about pain, physical pain, this time....

....i was in grade 5 when me and my brother asked to be circumcised (actually, i was dreading it, but i've been looking forward to it too...(in our town, it was never customary to circumcise baby boys at birth)....

....i don't want it done by an "albularyo" so my mom booked us in a private surgery clinic...there were three of us: me, my younger bro and an elder cousin...

...the cousin went in first....anticipation built up in me...i felt like running away....i was actually sweating cold beads....but of course i wont show to my mom that im scared (i don't wanna return home "whole").....

....my turn came...whew!!..deep breaths....lie down on the operating table....a white cloth with a hole was placed on my quivering and tense torso.....betadine....anaesthesia....5 pricks around my prick...ouch!!....(the nurse was a young lady so i didn't wanna show im scared or chicken!)....then the surgeon went to work....i could feel only numbness down there....i saw blood....my mom was beside the operating table(for moral support...or maybe to make sure that i dont run away)....

....and then, mercifully, i'm being sewed up...but the anaesthetic was starting to wear off by this time so i felt needle enter flesh.....i felt it!!....the painful passage of the thread as it passed through my sore skin!!.....and after what seemed like an eternity, it was over!!....

....i survived the operation!!....and i went home with the "i'm a man!" expression on my face....it felt good....but the feeling was short-lived....because i couldnt sleep that first night...it hurt!!...and then a week followed which could be described with the following words: swelling, boiled guava leaves, Supra-Tulle, bandage, "kamatis", antibiotic......

....a week later when all was well "down there", i heard my mom talk to a neighbor.....about our "operation"....and when i went out, a lot of people were teasing me about being "a man"!! ....it seemed that the whole of Tinundan Street knew about my circumcision!! aaarrggghhhh!!!.....